Discernment Intensive
If you or your spouse are considering separation or divorce but are not completely sure that’s the best path, you are in a tough spot. Discernment Counseling is designed for you. It’s a chance to slow down, take a breath, and look at your options for your relationship.
Discernment Counseling is designed for couples where one partner is unsure about continuing the relationship (“leaning out”), while the other hopes to rebuild it (“leaning in”). It offers a short-term, structured approach when traditional couples counseling may not feel like the right fit.
A Therapist’s Role
A therapist offering discernment counseling respects reasons for separation while trying to open up the possibility of restoring the relationship to health. The therapist’s main role is to emphasize the importance of each of you seeing your contributions to the problems while also exploring possible solutions.
Focused Decision Making
The goal is not for you to solve your relationship problems, but to see if they are solvable. The hope is for you and your partner to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and it’s possibilities for the future.
Three Paths
Discernment counseling ends in 3 potential paths-
Path 1- Stay the course, neither separation nor seeking therapy
Path 2- Separation/divorce
Path 3- A six month commitment to couples therapy, with divorce off the table for that time
What is a mixed agenda couple?
A mixed agenda couple consists of partners facing uncertainty in their relationship. This may look like both parties having opposing goals for their relationship. One is “leaning in”, or wants to fix the relationship, while the other is “leaning out”, and considering separation or divorce. This can also look like both partners feeling ambivalent about the relationship.
You will come in as a couple, but most important work will occur in one-on-one conversations with the therapist. Both partners will be treated with compassion and respect, regardless of how you are feeling about your relationship at the moment.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Your first session will be 2 hours, with subsequent sessions being 90 minutes.
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Discernment counseling is a short term intensive option to help you get the clarity you need, and quickly. There is a maximum of 5 discernment-focused counseling sessions.
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Currently, Allison Kennebeck has availability to run these intensives. Please see more about her approach and background on her individual therapist page.
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The first 2-hour session is $300, and subsequent 90-min sessions are $225. Consult calls are free.
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Discernment therapy is not suitable….
When one spouse has already made the final decision to divorce
When one spouse is coercing the other to participate
When there is a danger of domestic violence
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Getting started is simple. Reach out through our contact form. Our admin team will get you set up with a consult call with Allison.
Discernment Counseling is here to bring you clarity — to help find peace in making the next step.
If you're interested in working with us, click this link to submit an inquiry. A member of our team will reach out to get you started.