Desire rarely fades all at once — it often slips away slowly, quietly, and unexpectedly. Desire discrepancies are far more common than most couples realize. If your relationship feels loving but your intimacy feels stuck, you’re not alone. With intention and support, you can rebuild desire together.

In our busy lives—filled with endless chores, work projects, and shuttling kids between school and extracurricular activities—physical touch can start to feel like a luxury we simply don’t have time for. “Who realistically has time to cuddle in bed, make out on the couch, or take a bath together?” we may ask ourselves. As a result, we often brush off the importance of touch, treating it as unnecessary when so many other things demand our attention.

Why is it important to talk about sex in therapy? While it may be nerve-racking, there are a lot of reasons why bring up sex is important and how talking about it with your therapist can help in your healing.

When feeling distant, some people reach out for intimacy to get reassurance from their partner. For others, having sex to reconnect feels too intimate and vulnerable, especially if they are already feeling disconnected in their relationship. The theory of Emotionally Focused Therapy can help us make sense of these reactions, and the cycles we get stuck in when it comes to sex with our partner.

Betrayal trauma immensely impacts how we view sex and intimacy. Something that was supposed to bring healthy vulnerability now feels completely different. So, how do you heal? The key is to first rebuild emotional intimacy with your partner.