When feeling distant, some people reach out for intimacy to get reassurance from their partner. For others, having sex to reconnect feels too intimate and vulnerable, especially if they are already feeling disconnected in their relationship. The theory of Emotionally Focused Therapy can help us make sense of these reactions, and the cycles we get stuck in when it comes to sex with our partner.

Enmeshment is the blurring of boundaries that separate your thoughts, feelings, and responsibilities from someone else’s. Imagine you are standing in a hula hoop with your partner. If they move, your space is affected. Now apply this idea to a real life situation - maybe your partner has had a bad day and now, because you are enmeshed, you take ownership for their bad mood. Thankfully, you can move into healthy differentiation by setting clear emotional boundaries in your relationship. In doing so, both parties' separate thoughts, feelings, and responsibilities are honored.

If trauma is left unhealed, unprocessed, and even ignored, the pain finds a way to manifest. In fact, our trauma wounding has the potential to become re-enacted through patterns of addiction, including sex addiction and process addiction. Fortunately, there is hope for healing.

It can be difficult to make sense of our bodies and their reactions. The way we feel does not always align with how we think we should feel, and we oftentimes we end up stuck in discomfort. This is not an uncommon experience. Thankfully, we can make sense of these reactions through Polyvagal Theory, and work our way back towards a restful state.

Do you feel “crazy” or “needy” for wanting to be closer to a friend with whom you already have a strong foundation? Or, do you feel frustrated due to another’s “unreasonably high” expectations on you and your time? Luckily, attachment theory can provide some insight into your relational needs.

There are two theories that set themselves apart when it comes to couples therapy: The Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). This is not just our opinion - the effectiveness of both methods has been demonstrated through extensive research.

Betrayal trauma immensely impacts how we view sex and intimacy. Something that was supposed to bring healthy vulnerability now feels completely different. So, how do you heal? The key is to first rebuild emotional intimacy with your partner.

If you have been betrayed, the thought of forgiving your betrayer may seem undesirable and even impossible. So, why would you consider forgiveness at all and where do you start?

Change is rarely immediate or linear, yet societal pressure often makes us feel like we should transform overnight. Exploring why old patterns persist, how our brains respond to stress, and ways to set realistic, compassionate goals can help us approach growth with patience and self-kindness.

Shame is a feeling we will do almost anything to escape. So, how do we deal with shame in a healthy way? The antidote includes vulnerability and compassion.

Loneliness is a sign that your need for deep and meaningful connection is not being met. There are ways that you can combat loneliness including reconnecting to yourself and your own needs, connecting to others with shared interests and values, and seeking the help of a therapist.

Emotionally focused therapy can help you and your partner heal from emotional hurt in your relationships. How? It starts with learning to recognize your needs for secure connection and how those needs drive your interactions.

Setting boundaries in relationships can be uncomfortable, but incredibly rewarding. Follow these five steps to establish healthy boundaries.

Most people in our society associate the word “addiction” with substance abuse. However, everyday processes such as eating and technology use can also become addictive when relied on for a high.

The road to partner recovery after betrayal can be long and difficult. While we cannot rush this process, knowing the 6 stages to recovery is a great place for anyone to start their healing journey.

You are managing a crisis and you must take care of you. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) describes crisis management as distress tolerance. The distress still remains, but you are able to tolerate the pain with some skills.

Complex trauma comes in all shapes and sizes, from attachment trauma to compounding low intensity incidences. To heal, you have to find the treatment path that works best for you.

We sing about it in songs, cry about it in movies, and search for it our whole lives. Billboards advertise it and magazines flaunt tips or tricks to achieve that perfect romance. Let’s face it: we all love love.
So how do we know if we have crossed the line into a love addiction?

Some say that love is easy and blissful - something we fall into without control. But if you have been involved in betrayal—on either end—you know that love can be very complicated and even intensely painful. Real love requires an enormous amount of courage.

How much sex is too much sex? Stephanie Carnes, author of Mending a Shattered Heart, defines sex addiction as an unhealthy relationship to any sexual experience that a person continues to engage in despite adverse consequences.